An actual important issue

People complain all the time about needing stricter laws in the US for things like guns or voting or whatever other stupid shit bothers them but doesn’t really effect them on a daily basis. If there’s anything we really need to work on, its stricter laws for driving. I don’t mean different speed limits or anything like that, I mean we need to limit the amount of morons we let on the road.

Every day it seems I deal with at least 5-10 dumbasses on either my commute to work or home. I’ll never understand why it’s so hard for some people to make a right turn. This should be the easiest thing to do aside from driving straight. Another thing people somehow struggle with. If you’re sober, there’s absolutely no reason you should be weaving between lanes.

If you’re making a right turn, why do you feel the need to stop completely?? If there’s someone walking across the street, OK, you don’t want to hit them. Makes some sense. But on a daily basis the amount of times someone I’m behind feels the need to come to an almost dead stop before proceeding to turn right is crazy. It’s without fail that it’ll happen everyday. It’s not brain surgery, it’s not some complicated task where you need to hesitate before making a decision. It’s turning right. Even Zoolander had no trouble making right turns. Who lets these assholes drive? Worse, who taught these dumbasses to drive? Can we make citizen arrests for dumbass driving? These people need to be yelled at. There’s just some people in the world, no matter their age, who need a good scream-at to tell them how dumb they are. I’m talking a good oll’ fashioned scream at like that would cause anyone passing by to call the police for a possible assault.

There should be sporadic tests for people to keep their licenses until the day they die. And these shouldn’t be like the initial test you take to get your license either, where you act like you won’t drive like a maniac and will respect the rules of the road to impress the instructor. No, these should be done to ensure people drive like functioning adults who understand people have places to be. Have your phone out, change lanes without signaling, go well over the speed limit, basically just drive like you do normally. You’ll actually lose points for driving like a dipshit. The person driving won’t speed up to make the yellow light? Deduct 5 points and call them a moron. Feels the need to go five miles below the speed limit in the left lane? 10 points deducted. Is over 70? Just end the test here. Kick them out and give them a bus pass.

We should also be allowed to hit other cars with no repercussions. Someone weaving into your lane? Give em a love tap filled with hate. Sitting at a green light because they’re too stupid to look up from their phone? Smack their bumper, honk your horn, throw garbage at their car, and circle around them. No police reports, no insurance information exchange. Just a friendly reminder that they’re a human piece of shit who shouldn’t be allowed to live in society, and then you can be on your way.

I have to take a narrow two lane highway home everyday, I drive a truck. Small cars somehow still can’t get their shit together and weave ever so gently over the line, prohibiting me from passing their slow asses. This is a time I should be allowed to go full Monster Truck on them and plow their ass off the road.

They need to show some sign that they realize other people are on the road and they’re a fuckin idiot. And usually once I pass these people they have both hands on the wheel and a dead stare straight ahead to avoid seeing the disappointment and anger in my eyes. They know they fucked up but refuse to take ownership for it. This is where a quick side swipe would work wonders.

Rubbernecking bastards who cause traffic jams also need to go. Unless its a five car pileup on the side of the road with flames and dead bodies, you don’t need to slow down to look. If some assfuck rear ended someone and they’re just sitting there, what are you trying to see? You’ve never seen that before? Bullshit you haven’t, because the way you drive you’ve probably been in that position before. Is your life so dull you need to see minor car accidents to feel alive? Are you going home to your boring family and bragging you saw a fender bender? You’re probably the type of person who gets excited to see a deer. Move on with your life, and get the fuck off the road and let the adults drive.

People are given shit for road rage, but honestly how are we supposed to remain calm when there’s so many assholes on the road who have no idea what they’re doing? I’m surprised there isn’t more auto related murders taking place at stop lights.

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