My God, I miss college even more

I remember when I was little, I had one of those shitty little robots that basically went in either a straight line or sideways, and that was about it. Made a couple of beep-bloop noises and flashed some lights, basically a glorified RC car. Probably cost my parents a few hundred bucks for it that Christmas, thinking back on the fact they spent that much on me, I can understand how they now consider me to be a disappointment.

Anyway- even then I knew that was just the beginning of the future in robot technology. Between the one in Rocky 4 that his son gets him, and the movie Bicentennial Man, I knew we were on the cusp of greatness. Of course, I grew up, physically-not mentally, and forgot about the greatness that could be a robot. Mostly because anytime you hear about anything in the world of technology, it’s well out of the realm of anything I can afford. Including the newest iPhones. My 5z or whatever it is still gets me through the day.

Then came college, glorious college and the booze filled days of last minute papers and 3 hours of sleep and just everything that’s great about college. Due to the excessive drinking, I forgot even more about robots. Though I continue to this day to miss college. And now comes this new development.

Robots that deliver snacks!? Are you kidding me. Do you know how lazy I was (*still am) in college? This should increase admissions by a million. Think of the possibilities here. Those suckers can surely be hacked by the smarter ones on campus, and boom, you’ve got a stolen robot booze dispenser running rampant around the dorm. It sounds like a shitty B grade slasher film that I’d watch on repeat. Cue the naked college women, cue the drunk debauchery, cue the murderous robot!

Not to mention- whats one of the most common themes in porno? The delivery man. Now you’ve gotten a robot delivery dick that will satisfy the masses in a college themed orgy for PornHub. It’s gonna be amazing and I for one cannot wait.

Do these robot rules apply to grad school students? If so sign me up for my Master’s. I need a bag of cheetos and a case of bud light delivered ASAP.

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