We had our article about the top 5 reality guys we’d wanna have a beer with a few days ago, but I think we left out the most obvious choice; Andy Cohen. The guy is basically the Patriarch of Bravo TV and the man who brings all the reality drama we hate to admit we get sucked invested in into our homes. Whether it’s watching one of the 800 different housewife reunions or just Watch What Happens Live every night, we can’t seem to shake the guy. Hell he had a cameo as himself on another one of our secret closet obsessions, Riverdale, just this past season. The mans a national treasure.
We left him off the list because it was for the guys we watch on the actual shows, but that was a mistake. Looking back at it, he has his hand in pretty much every show we’d be ashamed to admit we follow and brings the stars out on his own show every night. If we’re gonna have a beer with Jax or one of the Toms, it would only make sense to have Andy there too. The guy literally does our favorite game every night on WWHL, TV drinking. We do it with movies here at BrewPound, as we’ve made movie drinking games into an art we excel at. However throw an opportunity to have a drink anytime a word is said on WWHL, and you’ve got us hooked. He even downs shots on occasion with the guests. The man has made drinking a nightly occurrence and we couldn’t be any more in favor of that.
So of course we’d wanna get this man to a bar with us and throw a beer or twelve back and get the inside scoop on what’s really going on at Sur or down South on Southern Charm. The guy talks and we listen. He has no problem yelling at housewives or any other guest if they’re out of line. Him scolding James for not covering his mouth during a sneeze on a Vanderpump Reunion is one of our favorite Pump moments of all time, and it wasn’t even on the actual show. His games and questions for the stars put em on the hot seat while he feeds them alcohol to help loosen them up, which ensures we all come out winners when we watch. Even if they still lie (lookin at you Lohan, don’t deny Jax).
He pals around with Anderson Cooper, and as a straight man I have no problem saying I’d love to have a boys night with those two, ending presumably with nothing gay happening, but who knows, with what I assume would be copious amounts of alcohol being thrown around between us. I don’t know if they’d care for my flannel shirt, hat and boot cut jean combo with their damn fine suits and well groomed hair, but I think we’d make it work. Beers, Appletinis, shots of vodka, whatever, just keep em coming.
He pumps out (no pun intended) great shows at a ridiculous pace and I’m pretty sure is president of the Bravo network at this point, dealing us great reality drama and damn good scripted shows too (hello Dirty John). He brings the goods nightly on WWHL, has a helluva social media presence, looks damn good in a suit and makes us want to watch what would normally be shady characters in fancy situations on reality shows. He’s the undisputed king, and we wanna crack open a cold one and talk about which of the housewives we’d actually not hate in real life (if any).
Don’t get us wrong over here, we’re 100% straight men, with wives and girlfriends, so we’re not looking for a date with Andy. Also don’t get us wrong, I don’t know if we’d be able to say no if he asked us out on one.