The Brewpound gang goes to Philly: Part 2

Part 1 of our story here:

We’d arrived, and first thing we did was chug what were supposed to be our road beers and headed into the Coors Light Pregame Party. Less than a minute in and Flyers fans were giving me shit, which was to be expected. A light rain began to come down, but we wouldn’t let that stop us from tailgating. Sponsored by Coors Light meant we had no options between that and Blue Moon. So ignoring my hatred for the taste of human piss, I downed too many Coors to remember, checked out the “party” which was pretty empty due to the weather, minus a few games and bars, plus the always fan favorite Oscar Mayer Weinermobile, and then we left, heading across the street to Xfinity Live, which had plenty of beers and was packed with even more assholes.

The highlight of the pregame

With it almost 8 and the puck about to drop, we finished our drinking and headed to the stadium. Lincoln Financial Field, home of the 2019 NHL Stadium Series between the Penguins and Flyers. What we drove here for. Our seats being in the nosebleeds, we opted to instead see how close we could work our seat stealing magic as usual

How to steal seats and get away with it

Up to the front row we went, where whoever spent their money on these seats had yet to show. We took some pictures, assuming it might not last that long, and sat down. Even went on a quick beer run and strolled right back to the front. Let me tell you whats an awful idea: sitting front row at an outdoor hockey game. The ice was about 200 feet away from us, separated by tarp and one security guard solely responsible for any drunk dumbass who might try to jump down and get on the ice. Also 200 feet away, surrounding the ice, were the backs of the boards that blocked basically any vision of the actual gameplay. So there we sat, watching heads and upper torsos skate around.

The game itself started off great, Sid the Kid had a goal in the first and an assist in the second giving the Penguins 2-1 lead. We added another goal in the 3rd, and then with a little over 3:00 minutes left in the game, the Flyers scored on a power play, giving them life. The rain was pouring at this point and most of the crowd of 70,000 had shuffled out. We’ll be fine, I thought, I’ll be walking out of here with a smile on my face and not much for the Philly fans to say, I thought. Well, I am a dumbass.

Flyers tied it up, we went to OT, the front row had cleared besides us and one asshole- who may have been on more than just an alcohol induced bender high and was also dancing like a prick. That’s when my biggest fear of the night happened, Flyers won. Asshole takes his jersey off, swings it around, and throws it on the tarp in front, grazing my face in the process. Defeated, I slowly walked out to continue the night at Xfinity Live.


The amount of shit said to me and people attempting to fight me increased by a large margin from the earlier pregame. Chants of “5 hour drive” were heaved at me, the people assuming I was from Pittsburgh. My attempts at a comeback with “5 Stanley Cups” meant absolutely nothing to them, which was warranted with their win that night. Some moron came up to my face and proceeded to try to fight, which I knew at that moment I had no shot, as anyone who had even sniffed a beer that day was looking for Penguin blood. Any fight with one person would inevitably lead to me being pummeled in a giant circle by Flyers fans, like how they give a public stoning in A Handmaids Tale.

Some words were exchanged and security intervened, and then another Flyers fan came to take his shot. Little fella must’ve measured about 4 feet tall, so after pulling on the tail of my sweater to get my attention, he called me an asshole and told me to go fuck myself. Having had enough at that point, I told him to get back to the Lollipop Guild. Apparently insulting anyone short is never a good idea, because this little guy revved his micro-machine engine and came at me. We were being held back by security at this point, with J-Bones winding up in the middle, and then him being tossed outta the bar. The only actual Philly fan in our group. Go figure.

The lights came on and they were closing up the bar anyway, but we were looking to keep the night going. The few people nice enough to respond to us, because apparently talking to a Penguins fan in any way that doesn’t involve bodily harm was sacrilege, told us all the bars closed at 2am, which it just about was. So we did a quick little yelp search and found some Korean karaoke bar that stayed open til 3. Called an uber and headed to drunkenly sing some Meatloaf and Backstreet Boys.

Except that didn’t happen, the driver was getting annoyed at our drunken antics and decided to drop us off in the middle of nowhere, with no bar to be found.

Figuring we’d had some beer back in the room, we went on a quest for some drunken food instead. With, what I assume is the best pizza in Philly, Dominoes in hand, we headed home. After a rough nights sleep we woke up and did what we do best, had some breakfast beers and went out in search of another cheese steak. Some place called Cleavers was rated high, and had a bar to boot, so we gave it a shot. Slightly better than Johns, but still nothing special. We then made our last stop, to pay tribute to the greatest sports hero of all time in Philadelphia history, Rocky Balboa.

At the statue was a lovely homeless couple who gave you very little choice but to allow them to take your picture and then demand money. A dollar did the trick and I hope he enjoyed his malt liquor on me later that day. And with that, we headed back to New York, to give our hangover cures a shot and go back to breathable air.

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