Nobody ever looks at your ears, right?

I have no idea how fashion works. I’ve been wearing flannel shirts, a hat and Nikes for about 20 years now, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. I am basically one step below a real southern cowboy and one step above a homeless man. I also don’t particularly care about my clothes matching, with the exception of maybe just making sure my socks are the same color. Fashion seems to change on a weekly basis at this point, with newer ones also looking to top the last in the hierarchy of stupidity. This latest “trend” though may be one of the stupidest ones I’ve heard about in a while. Which is saying something, considering the male romper was an actual thing, not too long ago.

Brad, Brad and Chad in a shitty fad

Tattoos in general are a gamble. Hands down. Unless you’re tattooed everywhere and people won’t notice the tiny unicorn you drunkenly got nestled in between the flames and skulls on your arm sleeve, getting one or two could come back to bite you in the ass. Where on your body you’re going to get them is an even bigger concern, do you want to flaunt it somewhere it will be seen daily or do you want to hide it somewhere for only the select few to get to enjoy/mock? Will it be something you’ll be OK telling your grandkids in 40 years what it means? If it’s some sort of tattoo honoring someone you knew who died, you’re probably safe. If it’s someone famous you don’t know but admire, it’s a risk. 15 years ago you might have thought that tattoo of Jared from Subway above your ass was foolproof, but now I bet you feel like a fool.

Only Jerry Sandusky tattoos have become more regretted

Which is why this latest celebrity driven fashion idea might top the list for dumbest ideas you could possibly have in your life, ever. For those who feel the need to try to emulate a Kardashian by wearing whatever shit they’re peddling by spending more money than you make in a week on shoddy made clothes straight from the hands of an 8 year old boy in China who is vastly underpaid, this can become risky.

Celebs have been “styling” their ears lately, as seen here

Personally I think it looks like they have blackheads or gross wax buildup that needs to be treated by a professional going on, but to some, this is art. Celebs are smart though (using the term “smart” loosely) and know that this would be foolish to do permanently. The average Joe though, looking to turn heads in Starbucks as they walk out with their $8 frappacrappa with extra whip cream, they’re not as smart. They’ve gone and began getting these beauties permanently tattooed onto their ears, for all the world to see, unless it’s snowing or cold out and you’re covered up. That won’t come to bite them in the ass at all, I’m sure. I see this leading to Ariana Grande getting the Japenese symbol for Propane Oven on her ears soon.

Was that last joke just an excuse to post a picture of Ariana Grande? Perhaps.

Yeah, it’s a thing now. I think it’s becoming a fad,” he (David Styles, the dude doing this to actual human beings) says. In his 15 years tattooing, he’s seen ear tattoos go in and out of style — but since January, he says, they’ve been back in.

OK, so it’s a fad. Shouldn’t that be the first sign for people that maybe it’s not something you want to have permanently etched into your skin, in a fairly (extremely) noticeable part of your body? He even says they’ve gone in and out of style, so during that down time that they’re out of style, what do people do? You’re walking around with the tattooed version of bell-bottom jeans on your ears, except you can’t hide them away in your attic.

This just seems a little bit too much of a reach for attention by the people getting them. You want to get fake ones like celebs for a little while, fine. At what point though will someone stop them and say think about this before you have to explain during a job interview why it looks like the veins in your ears are popping out around a little yellow sun. People who have that much spontaneity probably won’t be a good fit with most jobs. Next time you want to be like a Kardashian, just do the world a favor and make a sex tape that your mom can profit off of for years to come instead.

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