Late to the party: GoT finale

Everyone had their opinions on the finale of Game of Thrones, with a lot of people upset with the entire final season. I don’t think the last season was particularly bad, it was definitely rushed at times, but I think the anticipation of waiting 2 years in between season 7 and 8 is what made people sour on it. I had the pleasure of binge watching the entire series in a little over 3 weeks, so it was all one smooth trip for me, with the only breaks in between seasons coming when I was forced to leave my snack riddled bedroom to let me dogs take a shit while I forced myself to breathe fresh air that wasn’t contaminated with my farts. So the final season didn’t seem like a far break off from the quality of the first 7 seasons when watched continuously, people may have felt it was just because it was short and somewhat crammed, and also because nobody is ever happy with anything anymore.

I don’t care about the stupid Starbucks cup, it was edited out by the time I got to that episode, and even if it wasn’t, if it weren’t for the 8 million screenshots of it that flooded every website the day after, I doubt I would’ve noticed it upon first watch, or honestly, ever. I get people want to use it as a bullet point for why the writing/editing/quality of the show was trash this season, but mistakes like that happen all the time. Unless Daenerys was literally sipping from it and then had a throwaway line about how good the dragon foam frappe was in the Kings Landing Starbucks, it really wasn’t that big of a deal. And now it’s gone from all future rewatches, minus the ones who have it DVR’d and will refuse to delete it so they can show it to people like some party trick or something when they get bored as if they’re special for maintaining their own personal copy of something easily accessible on youtube.

The story and ending of the show weren’t without fault though, or at least some annoying narratives. First, Bran becoming king. Who the hell thought that was a good idea? He was literally the least interesting character on the show. He sat there blankly staring the past few seasons, drudging up a few words here and there to form half sentences. If I turned an episode from the later seasons on and had no idea about any characters backstory, I would honestly think he was the only mentally retarded human in Westeros. Forrest Gump was a better conversationalist than Bran. The three eyed raven shit didn’t even add any interest to him. For any other character, that’d be pretty cool, for him it was like putting a spoiler on the back of a car. Nice effort, but it’s still a shitty Honda Civic, just with a little bit of extra unnecessary clutter added to it.

I also don’t get how he’s going to get around the 7 kingdoms. I highly doubt most, if any, castles and buildings were equipped for wheelchair accessibility around there.

Whatever squire or servant that was tasked with wheeling Bran the Barely Functioning around would surely grow tired of having to do that one wheel at a time thing people have to do when trying to push carriages or wheelchairs up steps. Plus, when they inevitably grow tired of their mumbling king speaking in truncated sentences and devise an assassination plan, it won’t take much more than “accidentally” losing control while rolling him down a hill.

Grey Worm might’ve been the most annoying of all characters in the last episode. I get he’s pissed that his girlfriend had her head chopped off in front of him, but the vengeful prick he became bordered more on spoiled brat, and they just gave in to him in order to not have to hear him whine anymore in the Dragonpit. He was a dickless baby crying for punishment of Tyrion and Jon Snow. Losing Missandei was heartbreaking, I’m sure, but he could just eat a bowl of rotten tuna fish every day the rest of his life to simulate the full extent of their sexual relationship. Sending John to the Nights Watch to appease him made no sense. He was taking the unsullied far away, Jon could’ve easily stayed and he never would’ve known the difference. Not to mention, did we just forget Jon is a Targaryen? What was the point of introducing us to that storyline? Were the writers just trying to make up for the lack of incest between Jamie and Cersei the past seasons by having Jon bone his Aunt?

Sansa might be an even more entitled prick than Grey Worm. Unless she was named Queen of Westeros she wasn’t going to be happy. Nobody deserves that title less than her, yet she felt the need to make sure the North remained separate so she can wear her crown and feel superior. I understand not wanting to bend the knee to Bran the Broken Knees, but that doesn’t mean you should get to be allowed to take your ball and go play by yourself. She might have done even less than Bran throughout this entire series. I’m sorry about the rapes, but this is well before #metoo and it came with the territory around those parts. A few unwanted bonings doesn’t give you the requirements to run the world. Ever since she refused to back up Arya when Joffrey was being a little shit to the butchers boy, which resulted in her direwolf being killed, it was clear she only cared about power. Now she gets to have it over the North and did nothing to earn it besides being born a Stark. A family she would betray a hundred times over to further her own power.

Daenerys getting killed by Jon was necessary, up until that point I was all for where the story was going. Her father was crazy, and I assume with the poor mental health coverage in Westeros, the batshit crazy gene where you want to burn them all would reside in her as well. You’d assume Jon would sit on the throne after he slayed the queen, since he was the rightful heir, but that’s not where the story went. I also don’t know where Daenerys body went. I understand Drogon being upset about his mother dying, but maybe a little more follow up then watching him dangle his dead mother in his hind claw as he flies further away would’ve been nice. What was he going to do with her body? We’ve already seen how creepy he can be towards his mother.

My favorite characters of the series stayed the same, with the top 3 being

Tyrion- I feel like him and Jon are most peoples favorite, he was definitely the most entertaining I think with the best story arc from the beginning to the end. The little dude pretty much went everywhere, and he had the best line of the series in addition to all his other great dialogue.

Bronn- I would actually just watch any buddy comedy show featuring him and a Lannister of his choosing. Him and Tyrion were great together, and then him and Jaime were also great together. He was as funny as Tyrion and never hid the fact he really only cared about himself, while simultaneously we could also see he actually had good intentions and was a true friend when necessary.

Jorah- Forever friendzoned, he had to watch other guys get with his Queen on numerous occasions, and yet he always remained loyal to her. He was also a proven badass, and I was glad he died before he had to witness Daenerys go full whackadoo.

Overall the show was definitely great, which is why I had no problem binge watching it in less than a month. It’s not the greatest show of all time by any means, so I’m sure the people who jumped on the bandwagon of having been a “die-hard” will have no problem moving onto the next show that proclaims momentary greatness soon. The ones who had issues with the last season will forget all about it, the people who signed the petitions for them to redo it will possibly get lives, and I’m sure we’ll get sequels/prequels and whatever other cash grabs HBO can do to squeeze the remaining dollars out of the franchise. The books will come out with the “real” ending, people will pretend to read them, and then we’ll have a whole new slew of comparisons and complaints between the book and show. Until then, from now on when I hear that HBO series intro, it will be followed up by the best show they ever made

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